Perception: Childhood vs. Adulthood

A couple of days back my mom asked me a question that got me thinking…hard… (Brain, no! you will NOT think of Christian Grey right now!)

So the question in question was, and I quote, “what did you think of me when you were a kid? How did you exactly perceive me then?” (now I must add that I am translating her from Bengali and this might not exactly be what she said..but it is pretty much the gist of it . . Wondering why I wrote quote then? Go on! Keep wondering, no one’s stopping you!)

What I wanted to say in response was that, she seemed to be the kind of person who had got all her shit figured out, knew where her life was headed and was content with it, seemed like a role model to me, someone I admired, copied and wanted to be like. But I didn’t, because of the underlying unspoken inadmissible implication in the response that could lead her to believe that I do not think of her that way anymore. Which is not true, but that does not necessarily mean that it is all false either.

So what I said instead was, “I thought you were alright!” and left it that. Mom was obviously waiting for more and kept looking at me longingly. My brain registered the situation under ‘Immediate Damage Control’ department and signalled me to kiss her on the cheek and get back to reading the newspaper. I did. I think it went alright…Bravo Brain! This is what I have been training you for the last 21 years! In fact, I am so pleased at you that I actually want to shoot you and do us all a favour! >.< (no I am kidding, where would I be without you! <3)

Once she got back to her usual work, my brain started working again; at the speed of the Flash that is. I started to think how our perception, on our parents and pretty much every adult in our vicinity, changes when we grow up. Back when we were kids (and full of wonder), it was so much easier to please and fascinate us. All you needed to do to win our hearts were to buy us candies, and we wouldn’t even look at the wrapper for the price because we were still receptive to the love that came with it (no wonder it is the most popular method for kidnapping children, eh? But we are not going to talk about that!). But if you give us a dairy milk now, there will be no end to our complaints about why you didn’t give us a silk instead. Back then we used to think that our parents were rockstars, and could not do one wrong move whereas now I realise how disciplined and figured-out our life was after all..as children. Being disoriented but pretending to have things under control are probably the sort of crap that life teaches us as we grow up. And I am not sure how good a lesson it is really.

What I am trying to say is that kids are taught from early on how to survive in this adult world, and in the process suck the humanity out of them in order to survive the rat race. And as kids the adulthood looks so fascinating that we do not even realise when we become the part of the race. And before we know it we lose our soul and the saddest part is, we never even realise it! As they say, “the field always looks greener on the other side.” Couldn’t be more right, especially since I am on the other side now (being an adult i.e.).

The more I grow up, the more I realise that nobody has really got everything figured out per se. It is more of an utopian destination. The trick is to not take everything too seriously, if being happy is a priority that is. Although I am no expert at this (obviously) but I am certain about one thing- life is not supposed to go as we plan or how our parents envision. The more we try to control it, the more it will feel like it is slipping away. At times it is necessary to just lay back and let it take its own course you know, let it go on auto-pilot while you sit back and enjoy the view! After all we are blessed to be a human, must we imitate the machines for most parts of our lives? Sometimes, I think, we are allowed to cut ourselves some slack and leave things to the higher powers of the universe and just relax, don’t you think? We do deserve it, after all we work quite hard for it !
Food for thought, huh?

P.S. – I should admit that I have used certain situations quite ambiguously out here. E.g. my parents are quite where they should be, they are flawed and that’s what makes them human (Love you loads <3 ). Also am not big with chocolate. Thought I ought to clarify that. .

Okay then, peace out! ✌