Quarter-Life Crisis of a Procrastinator!
I don't write anymore.
Not as much as I would like to.
You know what I can't help?
Not as much as I would like to.
You know what I can't help?
Being lazy. a.k.a Procrastination.
And you know what I hate?
Not being productive!
And guess what this combination brings?
An Oxymoron!
a.k.a a cocktail of confused turmoil and unstable emotions that goes something like this: self-doubt, leading to low self-esteem, in turn leading to self-sabotaging behaviour, to more procrastination.
Full. Fucking. Circle.
It's 11PM now and I have an assignment due at 5PM tomorrow, one which I haven't even began to begin and yet, somehow my brain has convinced me that NOW is the Very moment to address this VERY important issue of "Why I don't write anymore?".
Good job, Brain!
Consider it obliged, for I would much rather be enslaved by you (me) than anybody else!
Unless of course we are in a simulation and free-will is only an illusion and everthing we do is controlled by aliens, a.k.a homo futurists, BUT that's a whole other topic for a whole other time (read never).
So anyway, since we are already at it, might as well address the issue at hand.
Why the fuck am I not working om my assignment?...Wait, No No, sorry I meant the other more pressing issue at hand.
Why the fuck am I not writing these days?
Well, let's be real. No one cares. I do because it's me but otherwise it doesn't really matter and neither should it.. But I am going to go on anyway, because the key here is to be aware of your narcissism!
I never really like what I write, right after I write it. But when I read it a few months later, somehow I don't quite hate it.
While my Instagram filters make my life look all bright and shiny, my blog seems to exude the very opposite of feels, because I find it hard to write when I am not overwhelmed; be it with sadness or uncertainty or just with my general state of being. And it works best when you are recuperating..sort of like the human equivalent of growing inside a pupa. When there isn't any visible conventional growth around you but boy, do you grow.
That was 2017-18 for me. My period of Quarter-Life Crisis.
Now, I wish I could say that things are all great and nice now, but that's not the point here. The point is, the pupa is an essential part of our growth. It's the breather that you sometimes need, to stop and reflect where you are and where you intend to be, then draw the necessary lines between them in order to get there. Going with the flow is good and all but the flow often takes you through the path MOST travelled, and maybe that's your thing. But you do owe it to yourself to get to that conclusion on your own.
I could elaborate on it, but then if you know what I mean, then you already Know what I mean; and if you don't and you are probably here for my face, then:
and they say I am not a people-pleaser! pfft!
There is a lot of taboo around "quarter-life crisis" or "mid-life crisis" and stuff like that and most of it is true. But it is kind of ineveitable at some point in our lives. I mean sure it is confusing and stressful and, like everything else in life that seem unpleasant, feels like it's is going to last forever, but it doesn't. You do get through it. And you essentially grow up to be more grounded, wholesome and stronger because of it, I promise you that.
The emotional rollercoaster is worth it, so might as well embrace it!
So if you are right out of college/ university/ in between jobs, etc.:
So buckle up and get ready to breathe.
See you on the other side!
:(:
It's 11PM now and I have an assignment due at 5PM tomorrow, one which I haven't even began to begin and yet, somehow my brain has convinced me that NOW is the Very moment to address this VERY important issue of "Why I don't write anymore?".
Good job, Brain!
Consider it obliged, for I would much rather be enslaved by you (me) than anybody else!
Unless of course we are in a simulation and free-will is only an illusion and everthing we do is controlled by aliens, a.k.a homo futurists, BUT that's a whole other topic for a whole other time (read never).
So anyway, since we are already at it, might as well address the issue at hand.
Why the fuck am I not working om my assignment?...Wait, No No, sorry I meant the other more pressing issue at hand.
Why the fuck am I not writing these days?
Well, let's be real. No one cares. I do because it's me but otherwise it doesn't really matter and neither should it.. But I am going to go on anyway, because the key here is to be aware of your narcissism!
I never really like what I write, right after I write it. But when I read it a few months later, somehow I don't quite hate it.
While my Instagram filters make my life look all bright and shiny, my blog seems to exude the very opposite of feels, because I find it hard to write when I am not overwhelmed; be it with sadness or uncertainty or just with my general state of being. And it works best when you are recuperating..sort of like the human equivalent of growing inside a pupa. When there isn't any visible conventional growth around you but boy, do you grow.
That was 2017-18 for me. My period of Quarter-Life Crisis.
Now, I wish I could say that things are all great and nice now, but that's not the point here. The point is, the pupa is an essential part of our growth. It's the breather that you sometimes need, to stop and reflect where you are and where you intend to be, then draw the necessary lines between them in order to get there. Going with the flow is good and all but the flow often takes you through the path MOST travelled, and maybe that's your thing. But you do owe it to yourself to get to that conclusion on your own.
I could elaborate on it, but then if you know what I mean, then you already Know what I mean; and if you don't and you are probably here for my face, then:
 |
| this one's for you :) |
There is a lot of taboo around "quarter-life crisis" or "mid-life crisis" and stuff like that and most of it is true. But it is kind of ineveitable at some point in our lives. I mean sure it is confusing and stressful and, like everything else in life that seem unpleasant, feels like it's is going to last forever, but it doesn't. You do get through it. And you essentially grow up to be more grounded, wholesome and stronger because of it, I promise you that.
The emotional rollercoaster is worth it, so might as well embrace it!
So if you are right out of college/ university/ in between jobs, etc.:
See you on the other side!
:(:
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