Losing has it's Swag!
today i just need to let out some things that i have been to keeping to myself for quite sometime. may be forever, i don't know. honestly i am not even certain that i am ready to share it with anyone. yes, no one reads my blog now but who knows about the future? may be if such a situation comes, which i hope it does, i will take this down. but for now just bear with me.
let me start with a simple fact about myself: i Absolutely hate losing. any sort of losing. be it in life, anything virtual, physical, people, any freaking thing. though their might be some discrepancy with the "people" part (some people are better off from your life than let them hinder your existence) but there are some people who i have lost (read grandparents) that i can't just accept. and i am dealing with it, in my own way, for what choice do i have.
it's not like their death was sudden or remotely unexpected, if anything we were rather anticipating it for they were suffering very much. i get that. and it is not even that i think about them all the time or that i called them everyday when they were alive. partly i took them for granted then. but now that i stare at the oblivion, i realize how much i needed them in my life, how much more i needed to learn from them. i simply canNOT accept that no one else will ever come to know about all their incredible experiences. because they really did lead an incredible life! my granddad spent few years of his life in army, the schedule of which he followed even a year before his death, and my grandma...i can't even begin to describe her remarkable personality. she was, still is and always will be, my favourite person in the world! for too many reasons to count. wouldn't like to bore anyone with the details.
see how difficult it is? words spill out of my hands uncontrollably when i start with them. thing is, they are my inspiration and my role model. i actually want a portrait of my grandma tattooed in my forearm soon. that is, as soon as i save up enough money. which will be very SOON!
next: clothes, shoes, money and every sort of physical objects that i own. money too, yes! hate it! absolutely hate it. and this might sound very mean from my part but my heart almost literally breaks apart when anyone asks for my clothes, or books, or shoes.. breaks to pieces and my mind goes "please please no! please please no! think of some reason, any bullshit reason and just do not let them go!". and before you judge let me tell you it has happened.
okay let me give you some instances. i bring my favourite belles to my hostel. two weeks later i go home, leaving it behind (obviously), 3 weeks later i come back to find the sole and the upper part of the shoe Apart! it might not be a lot to A lot of people, but for a poor soul like mine, it was pretty huge. and i just had to put a smile on my face and say, "no, it's all right, don't apologise". my ass! and the other incident happened quite recently . and i am still recovering from it.
it is rather funny, 'cause ever since i have stepped into cuttack this sort of thing has been happening to me at a far more frequency than it did before. cuttack repels me i tell you. now that i think about it, back home i hardly lost anything. except for that gold earing that i lost in my 6th grade in the swimming pool. imagine that!
some might blame my poor memory for this. to them i say, I Don't Forget What I Lose! my memory works in funny ways!
as for life, i am what i would call a 'loser' if i saw 'me' from third person. i underlined that 'cause i don't consider myself as one. merely because i know myself while the third person only knows about 10 to 20% about me which is just the upper flesh and skin maybe. i just know that once i break free from this shell that i am trapped in right now, i am going places yo! and that's optimism, not over-confidence!
true i am not doing a lot of things that people around me are, that might make me seem incapable (read loser with L) but to heck with that! i always have a back-up plan! which might not be as appealing as the rest of it, but not that worthless either! better something than nothing, right?
so yeah i guess i needed to let that out. have been going through a lot of phases lately, so yeah. writing them down sort of helps.
now as for the title. well, thing is it is not so bad to lose things. i mean of course it hurts. its bound to. and no one, and i repeat NO ONE is there who has NOT seen the face of 'loss'! but the faster we accept and let go of it, the better it is for us. because no good comes off by clinging on to things that we can not get back. so the better course of action would be to look beyond it and look for an alternative. technically someone who has lost a lot at a younger age is less likely to be a loser in the later part of his/her life, 'cause they learn from their mistakes and also know how to handle such situations and accept it as a part of their life and not let it ruin them. so its a plus right!
yeah one might say that this is something that only an unambitious person will say, i disagree. 'cause my first rule of life is to STAY HAPPY. no matter what. so yeah THAT is my ambition, suckers!!
so losing now does have it's SWAG! agree or not?
let me start with a simple fact about myself: i Absolutely hate losing. any sort of losing. be it in life, anything virtual, physical, people, any freaking thing. though their might be some discrepancy with the "people" part (some people are better off from your life than let them hinder your existence) but there are some people who i have lost (read grandparents) that i can't just accept. and i am dealing with it, in my own way, for what choice do i have.
it's not like their death was sudden or remotely unexpected, if anything we were rather anticipating it for they were suffering very much. i get that. and it is not even that i think about them all the time or that i called them everyday when they were alive. partly i took them for granted then. but now that i stare at the oblivion, i realize how much i needed them in my life, how much more i needed to learn from them. i simply canNOT accept that no one else will ever come to know about all their incredible experiences. because they really did lead an incredible life! my granddad spent few years of his life in army, the schedule of which he followed even a year before his death, and my grandma...i can't even begin to describe her remarkable personality. she was, still is and always will be, my favourite person in the world! for too many reasons to count. wouldn't like to bore anyone with the details.
see how difficult it is? words spill out of my hands uncontrollably when i start with them. thing is, they are my inspiration and my role model. i actually want a portrait of my grandma tattooed in my forearm soon. that is, as soon as i save up enough money. which will be very SOON!
next: clothes, shoes, money and every sort of physical objects that i own. money too, yes! hate it! absolutely hate it. and this might sound very mean from my part but my heart almost literally breaks apart when anyone asks for my clothes, or books, or shoes.. breaks to pieces and my mind goes "please please no! please please no! think of some reason, any bullshit reason and just do not let them go!". and before you judge let me tell you it has happened.
okay let me give you some instances. i bring my favourite belles to my hostel. two weeks later i go home, leaving it behind (obviously), 3 weeks later i come back to find the sole and the upper part of the shoe Apart! it might not be a lot to A lot of people, but for a poor soul like mine, it was pretty huge. and i just had to put a smile on my face and say, "no, it's all right, don't apologise". my ass! and the other incident happened quite recently . and i am still recovering from it.
it is rather funny, 'cause ever since i have stepped into cuttack this sort of thing has been happening to me at a far more frequency than it did before. cuttack repels me i tell you. now that i think about it, back home i hardly lost anything. except for that gold earing that i lost in my 6th grade in the swimming pool. imagine that!
some might blame my poor memory for this. to them i say, I Don't Forget What I Lose! my memory works in funny ways!
as for life, i am what i would call a 'loser' if i saw 'me' from third person. i underlined that 'cause i don't consider myself as one. merely because i know myself while the third person only knows about 10 to 20% about me which is just the upper flesh and skin maybe. i just know that once i break free from this shell that i am trapped in right now, i am going places yo! and that's optimism, not over-confidence!
true i am not doing a lot of things that people around me are, that might make me seem incapable (read loser with L) but to heck with that! i always have a back-up plan! which might not be as appealing as the rest of it, but not that worthless either! better something than nothing, right?
so yeah i guess i needed to let that out. have been going through a lot of phases lately, so yeah. writing them down sort of helps.
now as for the title. well, thing is it is not so bad to lose things. i mean of course it hurts. its bound to. and no one, and i repeat NO ONE is there who has NOT seen the face of 'loss'! but the faster we accept and let go of it, the better it is for us. because no good comes off by clinging on to things that we can not get back. so the better course of action would be to look beyond it and look for an alternative. technically someone who has lost a lot at a younger age is less likely to be a loser in the later part of his/her life, 'cause they learn from their mistakes and also know how to handle such situations and accept it as a part of their life and not let it ruin them. so its a plus right!
yeah one might say that this is something that only an unambitious person will say, i disagree. 'cause my first rule of life is to STAY HAPPY. no matter what. so yeah THAT is my ambition, suckers!!
so losing now does have it's SWAG! agree or not?
well tommorow got a reveiw and i dont know why i am reading this...maybe its because i am liking it over the NCR Master Plan...or maybe it somehow instructed my brain to keep on reading..i dot' know...anyway i wished i too had met that awesome lady...and about losing...ummm...i too have lost hell lot of things..lot of times..but the good thing to do, as you said is to move on...and look beyond...me at times failed to do so but every passing day helped me in completing that task. At some point in time, i even went spiritual and moments when i am confused about something i just fly in an auto-pilot mode and trust me i land safely all the time, well why i am saying all this i have no idea...maybe my brain too works the same way like someone i know barely 10 or 20% :| okay now its time i go before i start another blog in here!! :P
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