the Traffic

It's everywhere!

I have started taking up driving lessons lately. Being from Kolkata, traffic is about the first thing that pops up when you think about stepping out of your house. Up until now, my experience with traffic has been sort of second-handed you know. Me being in the backseat and fidgetting over the traffic, wishing that the driver would get into some lanes in order to avoid traffic or Not get into some lanes for the same damn reason and so on. But being on the driver's seat and making those decisions for myself, that is quite different.

And being the obsessive compulsive thinker that I am, obviously I had to relate these situations with my life in general; adulting and what not. But that is not what I mean to talk about.

I mean to talk about the loud honking congestion that I call my brain. About these obnoxiously annoying thoughts that can ruin your mood in a second with that one honk, to remind you of their presence. 

I am someone who needs to evolve everyday. If I'm not using my time to learn anything, I am going to sulk. So naturally the more I learn, the more I want to learn and do something or the other. So eventually things just tend to pile up in my head and before I know it, they are all blaring so loud that my eyes want to pop out.

I started blogging as a way to channelize this chaos.
See, I've never been a writer. I mean I liked to write but I am not good it. And I don't mean it in a self-deprecating way, believe me. The only time I would ever pick up a pen is when my mind would be jammed with too much negativity.

I call it the thought traffic.

(To be honest, it might be a thing but my brain is just one out of 7.2 billion, so I'm betting I am not that unique)

It's that time of the month/week/year/life when you are so overwhelmed by your own thoughts that your body tries it's best to expel that stupid brain of yours and your compatibility is put to test. You are constantly at war with yourself and you are second-guessing almost all your life choices at, maybe, the same time!
So one day I decided to change that and started a blog. I thought if I am going to procrastinate, I might as well do it better. I am already an over-thinker and a pessimistic writer, what could possibly go wrong? ....💣

I mean, it doesn't always have to be 👆 in my head. And if it has to, I could try and portray it better. A clear enough description is equivalent to a clear mind.

I understand that it might not make total sense to you.
Think of it like this, you look at a painting in an art museum and you understand jackshit and you are left there questioning the audacity of the painter for pricing it that high. Then the curator maybe explains the painting to you and you get an overview of the artist and her intent behind the painting. You get it, probably not enough to buy it, but atleast you understand why it is priced the way it is. And for the time being, it's good enough!

Everyone has their own way of dealing with this thought traffic. Mine is through writing a.k.a articulation. What's your?
Tell me. I want to know!

And until next time, do yourself a favor and be nice to yourself!
(I suck at taking that advice myself but hey, one day at a time, right?) Take a break or a day off, eat your heart out, watch a movie maybe and just cut yourself some slack and live a little for your own sake for once!

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