The Art of Failing

I have been thinking about something relevant to write about for the last two weeks. Now, I came up with a lot of ideas but for some reason or the other, they would be scrapped out. I would somehow convince myself that I cannot do justice to these topics yet, so I shouldn't make a half-assed attempt at it. That I should watch The Walking Dead instead and maybe gain some inspiration from it. May be the Walkers would give me some sort of insight into my life, or whatever! I would practically go to any length to stop myself from getting my work done. And in that process I came across this video by Anna Akana:

I realised something that I never even thought about before: My feeling of Unworthiness! 

All these time I would chastise myself for being a pro-procrastinator and for never reaching my goals, for single-handedly ruining my life and just simply setting an example for people around me to look at and vow to never be like me. Although it never bothered me consciously nor did it diminish my love for myself, subconsciously though, I am beginning to realise, I despise myself!

A cocktail of self-loathing and the feeling of inadequacy coupled with the realization that I'm just an average human being give me a massive hangover of 'failure' all day long. 

We have all been there. Marinating in our own mediocrity. I wish I could say things like:

- It all gets better in the end.

- There's light at the end of the tunnel.

- It'll all be lessons that you'll thank yourself for later.

- You'll even laugh about it in no time!

But I can't. Cause I'm not there yet. Maybe I'll be. Maybe I'll survive the tunnel. The Law of Averages give me hope.

I know I have to go on, so let's keep at it.

And live a little ❤

:(: